Are you stuck at an important juncture or choice-point in your life? Are you not sure quite what you want? Many options, but which one to go for?
Perhaps an old way of life, a job, relationship or home needs to change. Or perhaps it is an old behaviour pattern, a way of being that has grown stale. The soul is itching for something new – but it is not yet clear exactly what that might be.
In transition times there is an uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty, unsettledness, nothing quite fits. A pushing and a pulling force at the same time. One can feel anxious, between the familiar secure past and the not yet crystallized future.
Many people come to see me when they are at a crossroad. They are looking for clarity, someone to guide and accompany them in finding their inner compass, their own deep truth. “Brilliant, just what I needed,” a recent client said of their new clarity, calm, and blueprint for the future. A few months later he wrote to say, “Thank you very much indeed, our session together was massively useful and catalysed a shift for me.”
Here are a few suggestions for navigating a life crossroads well:
In the first place, it is helpful to hear that a transition is a natural healthy part of life. Although at the time it may feel chaotic, it is not necessarily chaos. Although it may feel like a crisis, it may not be The End! It might however be the end of one thing and the beginning of something new… There may well be a loss…
Transitions take time. They are a process. It takes time for the caterpillar to be a chrysalis – when it looks rather dull, boring and static – when it looks like NOTHING IS HAPPENING – for a LONG while – before the emergence of the beautiful, dynamic, exquisite butterfly. Patience, breath and gentleness to self are useful.
Transitions contain the germs of the new within them. Just like the seeds from which all plants grow… People need a safe space to be more deeply than usual in touch with their own experience. That maybe in a potting shed, holiday or therapy session. Very often a person has a hunch what they need. Or during a session I ‘know’ exactly what is needed, and can helpfully discriminate what is relevant and what is not, can articulate their inner vision or simply a next practical step.
Loving attention, permission to be just as you are right now and deep relaxation are suportive. A suspension of self-criticism (because self-criticism is often just a reinforcement of the old way.) Cultivate a more ‘feminine’ state of receptive relationship to life, to reveal (all at once, or piece-by-piece) the new direction…. Be awake to hints and clues… perhaps while walking in a nature, listening to music, or on the loo… notice what catches your attention, an image from a dream, a physical sensation in your body or maybe random words on a passing vehicle…
At this current time, June 2016, we are all in a state of transition. We are all in-between – the old world and its ways are crumbling – but the new world and its ways have not yet fully arrived. We are all, in a generalized way, feeling the insecurity… and the imminent change… This is the backdrop for our individual transitions…
A transition can take us by surprise, because it is not a ‘choice’ we have made to change, from our rational mind, it is not part of our conscious plan — it is a quaking from below, rising up from the deep, from our soul into consciousness… and into material form and expression. It is without doubt an opportunity for growth and expansion… if we have enough resource and loving support…. When we emerge from the transition we will know if what is needed is a precise minor adjustment, or a large-scale radical shift. A breakdown is an opportunity for a breakthrough. A crossroads can be a crossing-over into a fresh and alive new landscape.
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